Welcome back to my blog, y’all! I know it’s been a bit since I’ve done a book review… so, we’re going to just do one today.

And today’s review is on Beauty Queens… which, at first, I really wanted to fall in love with… but… (and I’m sure you can probably guess where things will be going when there’s a but involved.)

Let’s dive right in, though, shall we?

The Book Overview

Basically, this book is one of those kinds that can be summarized in one sentence (or less). And I’ll just give that elevator pitch a shot here…

Teen beauty queens, airplane crash, deserted island owned by “the corporation”.

Honestly, that’s kind of the only description you need to know, but…

The Book Cover and Description, Taken from Goodreads:

It’s all about satire and humor, too–don’t take anything contained within those pages seriously, folks.

My Review

So, like I mentioned, I was actually super into this book from page one through… well, actually, I listened to the audiobook, so I don’t know what page number started turning me a little off, but I’m guessing it was a bit page the 50% marker.

It did have some things going for it in that first half, though, like…

An Amazing Plot

Like, let’s be honest… thirteen teenaged pageant girls crashing onto a deserted island with nothing to aid their survival but the gowns and cosmetic products in their luggage? Girl, count me in for how that plays out!

There’s also this sub-story behind the plot that makes things even more interesting: a plot conjured up by a former beauty queen for world domination. And then a bunch of James Bond-style stuff comes in, and you all know I love a good James Bond (although Pierce Brosnan will always be my fave…).

Some Good Satire

We also can’t deny that this book’s got some good laughing points, and most of them revolve around satire, which, again, I absolutely love. There are also these cute “commercial break” moments that cut away from the main story to totally make fun of outrageous products that are eerily similar to something we would see on, say, QVC or HSN channels… like the “Lady ‘Stache Off”.

(And, yes, I totally had to Google how to write that because, again, I only listened to the audiobook version and had no idea how that term was supposed to look on paper…)

However… The Characters Were Messy

Yeah, don’t hate me, but I really didn’t get on well with the characters of this story. They were super two-dimensional, and, honestly, they just felt like cardboard cut-outs of every teen stereotypical representation out there, especially when it came down to diversity.

For example, basically, one beauty queen represented all teens of immigrant parents, one represented all hearing impaired teens, one represented all lesbian teens… you get the picture, I hope.

And now, I totally believe that books need to include characters with diverse backgrounds, and I 100% root for authors who do that. However… I also believe characters need to have more to them than just their “brand” of diversity. Diverse or minority people are people too, and diverse characters need to be characters too.

…And I Had My Share of Eye-Rolling

So, maybe I’m not really one for teen romance… or, maybe I’m just not one for teen romance that’s the cringy type of awkward instead of the cute type of awkward. Either way, I was not a fan of the romance in this YA novel.

I won’t give any direct examples so as to not spoil the story for anybody, but I will say that there were some “romantic” scenes that actually did make me roll my eyes. And, since I, again, listened to the audiobook, I could actually do that and keep on “reading” while I simultaneously played my Nintendo 64–thank you, audiobooks!

In short, I think the addition of the romance was just that–an addition, and also probably an afterthought. The story would have, I think, done much better without all the added “teen romance” to make the book more “teen-friendly”… and that’s all I’m saying on that.

Now, in overview, this book really wasn’t a wasted read for me. Like I said, it was actually pretty good in the start, and I did get along really well with the comical satire. However… I just would have liked to seen some changes when it came to certain scenes and especially certain (or most) characters.

Tl; DR: Want to read a funny book about teenaged pageant queens crashing on a deserted island? Go on and pick up this one up–just don’t be upset if you come into contact with some stereotyped characters and romantic scenes.

–Kari

P.S. And, if the thought of Young Adult Lit and James Bond-style action and adventure piques your interest… you may also enjoy checking out this similar book, called Cartoon!