Okay, so I went to the library about two weeks ago and wandered around while my mom faxed some tax papers and crap. Now, I usually don’t go to the library just to browse books (the movies are usually first priory… oops), but she was taking so dang long that I had no choice but to walk each of the five aisles twice (FYI- this is a very small, tiny town library). And then, low and behold, I actually found a real live book to check out for the first time in eight years.

And the book… ah, yes, it was no ordinary novel. Not even much of a novel, actually, I don’t think… Well, either way, here’s what is was:

The cover literally sparkled.

And, okay, I know Joan Rivers isn’t everyone’s favorite author or maybe comedian or anything… but she was one of mine in her time and I felt kind of obligated to check this book out (see what I did there?).

And, let me say, Joan made me laugh. Out loud. And, though I did find some grammatical errors here and there (missing punctuation, mostly)… it just bugged me is much that it actually made me feel better about myself (as did some of the actual content).

But this is not a book review post… it’s a list of things I hate post!

And I’m dedicating it to Joan.

So, here we go.

1. In lieu of Joan (though I do remember her stating that she also hates the term ‘lieu’…), I guess I’ll start with me. I don’t particularly hate myself (which I think is a good thing?), but there’s things about myself that I pretty much do hate. Like, for one, I hate that I’m almost old enough to (legally) drink and I still get handed kid menus at places like Cracker Barrel and iHop (just to name a few). I mean, everyone always says I look like my mom, but she doesn’t have to still sit in a booster seat.
2. And I hate pickles. They taste awful and they’re wrinkly.
3. I hate anything cherry flavored. Like, NyQuil completely ruined cherries altogether. Anything cherry-esque other than my Grandma’s super bomb cherry pie just reminds me of having a cold and that’s gross.
4. Oh, also, I hate being sick. Mostly with anything sinus-related. Mucus belongs in my face, not on it.
5. I hate when it rains and there’s still snow outside.
6. I also hate hot places.
7. And, to be blatantly honest, I hate having the urge to poop while in the car. It’s so uncomfortable, and you’re always counting down the minutes until you’re home. And I stopped for a Wendy’s bathroom once… and I promised myself never again.
8. I hate when people say ‘money is no object’. Because that’s dumb; cash and quarters literally are objects.
9. I hate grease splatters. (Partly why I’m not a fry cook anymore.)
10. And, worst of all, I hate… hate… HATE the color yellow. Ask anyone who knows me what I hate most out of everything in this world; the answer will always be the same. Yellow is the color of urine and highlighters and, worst of all, lemons. Repulsive.

And, everyone, that’s my list! There could probably be a lot more, too, but… I’m not gonna churn out 200+ pages like Joan did.

Not yet, at least.

Let me know what you thought/think… and if you can relate in any way!

-iKari