So, one time… I had this dream…

It was a very odd dream. I mean, I have weird dreams every night… but I had this one a year or two ago, and I still remember it quite vividly. That’s how odd it is.

So, in this dream, it was my birthday. That has nothing to do with what happens next, but it was my birthday. So, on my birthday, I guess, I was sitting on my bed in my bedroom. And then, out of nowhere, I heard this car right outside my window… and there’s no road near my window.

So my window is right above the side of my bed, you know, so I scooched forward and peeked outside… and then I saw this big black SUV driving up the hill outside the house, coming right towards me.

I was super confused (as I probably had a right to be) and I leaned back and didn’t really move or do anything, who knows why, I must have been paralyzed with fear or something of the sort, and then… BAM. The big bad SUV drove right into the wall. It didn’t, like, make a hole or anything… but it made a really big noise and it was freaky. So, just then, I peered out of the window again… and I see this tall blonde woman that I’ve never seen before in my life get out of the car and march up to the window. I tried to lean back and jump off the bed, then, probably because I finally came to my senses and decided that it wasn’t in my best interest to stick around, but, before I could, that lady ripped the screen out of my window and shoved the glass part of it up and open. And then, after that, she lunged her upper body through the hole and actually grabbed my feet.

I screamed out and everything, and she proceeded to pull me out of the window. She threw me down on the ground… and pulled out a knife. Like, the big kitchen/chef kind.

I freaked out and, sensibly, yelled, ‘WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!’

She looked at me like I was dumb and was like, ‘Um… I’m your brother in law’s ex girlfriend from high school… duh.’

And so I said something like, ‘Well then, why are you here???’

And she told me, ‘Because I’m going to kill you for him breaking up with me!’

Wow… that makes total sense.

And so then she started trying to stab me and I had to fight back… and we got in some kind of brawl on the ground and I’m sure I got the knife and tried to stab her in the process, but she ended up getting it back and slit my leg or something, so I got up and tried to run away.

I ran all the way around the house to the back door and she followed me there… and I slammed the door open as fast as I could, and then I shoved it shut just before she could come in after me. Then, being the wondrously smart person I am, I locked it behind me and turned around to see my mom sitting in the living room in front of me.

This is the best part, too.

I freaked out and started telling her that some chick was here trying to kill me for revenge for something I had no part of and I even looked back out the window in the door to prove it… but then the girl was gone.

So I turned back to my mom and was like, ‘Well, she was here! Aren’t you gonna help me or call the cops or something?’

And then my mom turns to look at me and I see that she’s on the phone… so she puts her hand over the receiver and asks me, ‘your dad’s going to Steak N Shake later… do you want a burger or not?’

And that’s where it ends.

It’s a great story, I know. I love the crazy dreams I have all the time.

Let me know what crazy dreams you’ve been up to having lately!


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