Tuesdays are truly the worst. I’m burnt out on this week already. And I don’t feel like taking extra time to write a super sweet and lengthy in-depth blog post. So… let’s have some laughs instead!

Yeah, let’s gather the most random one-liner jokes I’m about to “stumble” across on Reddit and bask together in the lightheartedness they bring us.

❤ ❤ ❤

• I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was really good at it.
  If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table. (Haha.)
• Light travels faster than sound!
  That’s why some people appear bright until they talk. (Ha.)
• Whenever I see two lovers names carved into a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet.
  I think it’s shocking how many people bring a knife on a date. (HA.)
• Where does a socialist bird lay its eggs?
  In a communest. (Haha…)
• My friend told me to sing at his funeral.
  He wants people to know there’s something worse then death. (Ha…)
• I don’t always tell dad jokes
  But when I do, he laughs. (ha…)
• If I had a drop of beer for every time I made a bird pun..
  I’d have toucans. (HA.)
• Study something you like and you will never have to work a single day…
  Because you won’t find work. (Ha… oh.)
• My dog used to chase people on a bike all the time.
  It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. (…)
• If you refuse to go to sleep…
  Does that mean you’re resisting a rest? (Haha.)
• What is green and turns red when you press a button?
  A frog in a blender. (!!!)
• My girlfriend said, “You act like a detective too much. I want to split up.”
  “Good idea,” I replied. “We can cover more ground that way.” (HA.)
• I wondered what my parents did to pass time when they were younger.
  I asked my 19 brothers and sisters but they didn’t know either. (Haha…)