Tuesdays are truly the worst. I’m burnt out on this week already. And I don’t feel like taking extra time to write a super sweet and lengthy in-depth blog post. So… let’s have some laughs instead!
Yeah, let’s gather the most random one-liner jokes I’m about to “stumble” across on Reddit and bask together in the lightheartedness they bring us.
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- I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was really good at it.
If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table. (Haha.)
- Light travels faster than sound!
That’s why some people appear bright until they talk. (Ha.)
- Whenever I see two lovers names carved into a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet.
I think it’s shocking how many people bring a knife on a date. (HA.)
- Where does a socialist bird lay its eggs?
In a communest. (Haha…)
- My friend told me to sing at his funeral.
He wants people to know there’s something worse then death. (Ha…)
- I don’t always tell dad jokes
But when I do, he laughs. (ha…)
- If I had a drop of beer for every time I made a bird pun..
I’d have toucans. (HA.)
- Study something you like and you will never have to work a single day…
Because you won’t find work. (Ha… oh.)
- My dog used to chase people on a bike all the time.
It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. (…)
- If you refuse to go to sleep…
Does that mean you’re resisting a rest? (Haha.)
- What is green and turns red when you press a button?
A frog in a blender. (!!!)
- My girlfriend said, “You act like a detective too much. I want to split up.”
“Good idea,” I replied. “We can cover more ground that way.” (HA.)
- I wondered what my parents did to pass time when they were younger.
I asked my 19 brothers and sisters but they didn’t know either. (Haha…)
Well, there you have it. I hope I brightened your dull Tuesday at least a tad… but, if the cheesy one-liners weren’t enough, then I’m sorry. Kind of.
(Because I thought they were pretty good.)
Until the next completely random post, though…