I’m noticing a pattern.

For example, I actually don’t feel like writing this blog post right now. But I’m still doing it. But maybe it won’t turn out as amazing as I actually planned.

I’ll admit it, I’ve actually felt really out of the writing mood lately. Things have been busy. I’ve been sleepy. I threw up on the floor the other weekend.

Things just haven’t felt real fun this month. Or last month, for the most part. I need a vacation or something. Only I’m too poor for that. My biggest expenses are heavily discounted shoes. I love shoes. But I never pay full price for anything. Except Little Debbie brownies.

I feel like, though, that I have kept a fairly good attitude in the past however many days that I feel like I’ve been missing out on all the fun in life. I feel like looking at things like a joke is better than fussing about them. But I also still feel the mood it’s trying to put me in.

The mood to not write. 

(I’m even staring at the page now because I don’t feel like writing the rest.)

We all know this mood, right? Some people might call it writers’ block, but I think this is a little different, or at least just a very specific type of that. It’s not like I can’t come up with anything to write; I actually feel like I have more ideas than ever right now. It’s not like I don’t think I can physically write; I know I can. It’s just that… I’m not in the mood to do it. 

And then there’s this other thing. If I sit down at the keyboard and force myself to do the manual act of writing… I just know that mood is going to show through. If I don’t put my whole self into it, because I’m not feel up to it at the time, the readers aren’t gonna feel up to it, either.

The emotion, I’m afraid, won’t be there.

Does anybody else feel me feeling this?

Maybe this is just how I’ve always done things, and because feeling a different mood while writing is new to me, I just have to work through it, not around, and make do with what I’ve got right now.

But even that feels wrong.

So, to do or not to do?

Please, people, if you have a little insight, please share it with me and help conquer this problem. If you’re experiencing the same/a similar thing right now… comment and we can wither away together.

I’m taking my nephews to Chuck E. Cheese tonight. That’s how desperate I am for fun.

-iKari