Not literally, but quite literally.
So, I’ve got this whole creative writing class going on, right? And, well, y’all know me (or maybe don’t, but)… I get confused very quickly, very easily. With, sometimes, it seems like everything. And, of course, school-related assignments aren’t an exception to that rule.
And so… uh, yeah, I guess I read the directions for this one assignment pretty wrong, and didn’t read them again until literally the day it was all due. Apparently, there were 3 parts to the assignment… and not just the mere one I had taken 3 or 4 weeks to accomplish. And, by then, basically a month had passed, and I was really out of time. So, I had to do what any and every college student has to do in times of academic crisis.
I had to pull something out of my…
Big, beautiful brain!
Yep, that’s what I wanted to say to you all today!
So, now, here I am, of course, writing this blog post pretty last-minute for my personal expectations of myself, about to share what just a sliver of that last-minute assignment actually was.
Now, the assignment itself was to be a big “drama” project… AKA write a bunch of randomized, but prompted, play scenes.
AND SO… this was just one of those many works in the big picture I wrote out of my big, beautiful brain that very day.
At a small bar, where loud, electronic music can be heard in the background. Three young women (Abby, Cassi, and Mindy) in their early to mid-twenties are sitting at the front of the bar, on tall stools, with shots and cocktail glasses littering the counter in front of them. Cassi is sitting in the middle.
Cassi: And he was just, like, never there… ya know?
Mindy: He was so distant when he came over that one time. I mean, that was probably a few months ago, but you guys just were on opposite sides of the room the whole time.
Cassi: Well, yeah, but he didn’t like the cat…
Abby: God, I’m so itchy… Is my arm bleeding?
Mindy: Still, if you like cats, then he should like cats… Come on, Cass, it wasn’t meant to be!
Abby: I asked–Am I bleeding?
Cassi: (Grabs Abby’s elbow) No, you’re not, that’s just… wait, what the hell is that?
Abby: I need more cranberry juice…
Mindy: He was like this rum, Cass—really nice at first, but then… gone after a few hours.
Cassi: (Licks Abby’s forearm) It’s just lipstick. Red lipstick. Wait… where’s my lipstick? (Drops Abby’s arm and looks around her chair.)
Mindy: Sometimes, I think Chris can be kinda like that. But then I think… (Takes a drink, and then laughs.) Nah, I’m too hot. He wouldn’t leave me.
Cassi: Wait, you guys… (Pulls out purse and begins to rummage through it.)
Abby: Ugh, can somebody please put on some Britany Spears?
Cassi: I thought I had it in here…
Abby: Hit me Britany one last time!
Mindy: Abby, that’s not how it goes!
Cassi: Wait, wait. (Pulls out a crumpled piece of paper, and then unfolds it.) Look, look! (Shoves the paper into Mindy’s face.)
Mindy: What, what’s this?
Cassi: (Takes the paper back.) This is it! This is how I’m going to get Brant back!
Mindy: How? Cass, he’s probably over at Veronica-the-vermin’s house by now…
Abby: I think I’m bleeding again…
Cassi: This letter, I wrote it to him the first week we started dating. I wrote, I wrote… Listen to this, “My dearest Garret…”
Mindy: You broke up with Garret five years ago!
Cassi: Well, here, I can white-out that part… But, oh god, this is it! He can’t turn me down if I give him this!
Abby: I don’t… (Turns to the side, grabs the edges of her chair, and begins to vomit.)
Mindy: (Pauses.) Well, there’s some white-out in my car…
This literally only took me about twenty minutes to write. Mostly because I only had about twenty minutes to write, but also a little because… no, only because I only had twenty minutes to write.
It ain’t perfect, I know that, but I also kind of surprised myself with what I found I could pull off in such a short time frame.
Let me know, guys, how great or awesome or horrendously terrible I did with my last-minute creative writing assignment!